I found out 2 days ago that I wasn’t being put up for partner.
Definitively.
Throughout the entire meeting I almost bit a hole in my tongue because I was NOT going to cry in front of my bosses. As you can imagine, it’s not easy to talk while biting your tongue and trying not to cry, so it was less of a conversation and more of me listening to “You’re not going to make partner this year. The reasons are [bullshit] blah, blah, blah. So, next year is your year!”
I am not a victim and hate feeling this way, but a huge part of me feels like a loser. I tried for something, I fought for myself and, in the end, I didn’t win. “Life’s not fair” apparently isn’t a lesson only for children.
On that note, I feel like I have no choice but to leave. I am praying that I can find something better, as I don’t want to jump ship just for the sake of jumping. It’s still a crappy job market, I have pretty specific salary demands and I must have time to spend with my family. There’s a reason I had no problem working 6 days a week for 4 years and crazy hours -- I was young and single. You just don’t do that when you’ve been practicing for as long as I have and you have children you want to get home to.
I’m sad. I’m angry. I’m SICK about how I’ve been treated.
I wish I could fast forward to the part where all of this happened for a good reason and I landed a WAY better job somewhere else. Because this part, sucks.
Definitively.
Throughout the entire meeting I almost bit a hole in my tongue because I was NOT going to cry in front of my bosses. As you can imagine, it’s not easy to talk while biting your tongue and trying not to cry, so it was less of a conversation and more of me listening to “You’re not going to make partner this year. The reasons are [bullshit] blah, blah, blah. So, next year is your year!”
I am not a victim and hate feeling this way, but a huge part of me feels like a loser. I tried for something, I fought for myself and, in the end, I didn’t win. “Life’s not fair” apparently isn’t a lesson only for children.
On that note, I feel like I have no choice but to leave. I am praying that I can find something better, as I don’t want to jump ship just for the sake of jumping. It’s still a crappy job market, I have pretty specific salary demands and I must have time to spend with my family. There’s a reason I had no problem working 6 days a week for 4 years and crazy hours -- I was young and single. You just don’t do that when you’ve been practicing for as long as I have and you have children you want to get home to.
I’m sad. I’m angry. I’m SICK about how I’ve been treated.
I wish I could fast forward to the part where all of this happened for a good reason and I landed a WAY better job somewhere else. Because this part, sucks.
2 comments:
That's a BUMMER and I am so sorry! I can relate a little (even though I am not a lawyer) because I understand that feeling of not being valued for what you contribute to your job! I am still waiting for the better part to come for me too!! Hang in there!!
Hope you have a great weekend with your boys!!
I'm so sorry. I hope that you can find a job where you will be valued for the great attorney that you are. Hugs.
Post a Comment